Blame, 2nd draft {AB 180-2-2}, August 4th 1998, transferred direct from Anno's laptop:
They blame it on the drug you’re on,
You blame it on the firm they’re in,
and slowly like this spins the world,
I’ve realized people like me cause I’m no one fixed and firm,
and I lost who a I’m in who I’m with,
feel it in my ribs now - vicious, society chameleon,
“it’s time to catch your dream and run”, I tell myself,
Will you be caught, and will you fall to Mars with me?
Do you know the way? - I don’t.
Down this crazy road,
This silver laced and plastic covered maze that they call life?
Want to take five words and make them one,
Want to take five months and make them one hour,
See it in a flower when it grows,
In a poet when it flows,
In a writer, or an artist,
or a lover, or a rapist,
in a killer when he knows it’s him and
no one else that owns your fate.
It’s precious to you,
I know - me too,
I’m not proud of what I stand for, and it’s not proud of me.
And like this we exist,
Within our minds, so grandiose and bold,
luxurious and gold,
It frightens me, how easily,
a lie becomes the truth,
and the truth is left untold.They blame it on your morals - bent.
You blame it on the bomb they sent across the sea,
I blame it on the scent she sent, and laced upon the breeze,
I blame it on the words I cannot speak,
and the eyes I didn’t meet,
I cannot breathe with joy,
I cannot see the next line, but I know it’s on the boil,
and like my soul for boiling over,
blow and shoot my plastic cover,
cover me in sand and let me rot on earth with you.
With you, with you,
In all my songs, what once was black and white,
is now an overdose of color - strong,
more blinding than the sun - each one.
Black is bright,
Gray and silver shiver in the light of these emotions I’m defining.
I cant - guess that’s the point.
Love you to the point of no return.
In and all across my mind, running riot!
Do not whip the naked man, who sings his stupid songs.
His ears are only meant for you,
His eyes are only open when he looks at you,
His lungs are only there, so he can fill them with the air that’s meant for you.
You and I know he’s a fool,
living drunk, eccentric dreams,
Well my dear, that fool is me,
and this me is meant for you,
If it is no use, then toss it to the wind,
make no excuses.
Feel is in my stomach when you move and lose your sense of sin,
know you love and feel within,
do you feel like me?
and do you depend on the reality of dreams.
I never really knew the meaning of the word,
and now, absurd, it comes to haunt me,
Never really knew the joy of breathing dirty air,
if that’s what you call it,
want to drown in thick desire,
Spinning circles in your hair.
Crazy, blue, fixated eyes,
smoking, hot and crazy thighs,
Aimless, lost in crazy sighs,
that vanish with a change of wind.
Will the wind change?
“Perfect circles can’t remain in orbit very long,” they say,
They blow apart.
If you prove them wrong,
I’ll shoot the stars down with a b.b-gun,
and hold them high, and proud, and long,
I want you to unfold and sing this song with me.
Out of time and out of key,
lost in ambiguity we shine,
Velvet symbiotic minds,
That leap like shadows, out onto the wall at night,
Lost and out of sight,
Would you put it on the line and love in bright and vivid color?
Blow my cover - I belong to you.
My soul it seems is dubious,
uncertain in accepting that the words you speak are true.
How could they be?
I’m hideous, and hopeless,
and I’m dirtier than you.
God of my emotions,
Dictator of the thoughts within my head,
if it is a game then leave me dead,
for I could not bare to see the end of this.
Angel of the night,
you are my bliss.
I’d give anything to kiss you in my dreams,
but I can’t - you turn your head and scream, and run into the light.
I like it when you frighten me with images of fate going our way,
Never want to stray out of your sight,
You are the point at which I am,
like the point at which the day becomes the night,
Vague and misplaced in the haze,
I’ll be waiting in the middle of the maze we built with words,
Is it too absurd to pin my hopes on all the words you wrote for me?
Write another word for me.
Sing it loud and send it down,
idle and idyllic on the breeze,
I’m teething for the first time,
and I want to sink these canines into you…
Deeper than you’re used to.Took a hit,
Lost myself last night,
Tangled up in sticky starry skies,
Lost my sense of time,
I lost my mind and lost my sight,
Stumbled hopeless through the streets of,
Hookers, dealers, dogs, and Milla’s,
Lost within my soul.
I know she’s there,
She’s all that’s there,
She keeps the cold at bay,
Keep me dressed in sunshine and I’ll shine for you.
You are my drug, and my excuse for being.
All that’s on my mind, you hit me in the knees,
Better catch me soon,
Better warm me or I’ll freeze,
Better let the moon know that we’re on our way,
If, that is, you’ll drop it all,
look my way and lust for life,
I’m not asking for a wife,
just need you for forever in my arms.No longer fighting dawn,
Begging days, weeks, months, years to forget themselves,
Drop out of time and hibernate,
Until the day is right and you and I
can fill our lungs with clean cut silver air,
Cut me with your hair and let me bleed all over you.
Shower in my secrets,
and I’ll shower in the dew that you collect upon your thighs.
Are you hot behind the eyes,
and sorry at the thought of telling lies you half believe?
I’m a sucker for this free and crazy love,
It leaves me stranded way above the rest,
Out of reach and out of breath,
and shaking to the bone.
It seems I found a home in sweetness,
will it be there in a month, a day, a week, an hour,
See this crazy love turn sour,
when you realize what you’ve done.
Watch it tumble in the light of your emotion,
You’ve gone and set my heart in motion,
Once again it beats and now,
I fear there is no turning back.
Feel you flow like smack and fill my veins,
My heart will Pump you to my brain,
wreck havoc with your incantations,
and seething, I will go insane for you.
Shades of green hit shades of blue,
and break on velvet glass.
Making sense at last and now,
I fear I lost my love to time and chance,
Kill me on the chance you changed your mind.
Whip my rusty, dirty hide and hide me I the maze you made,
for lost and lucid dreams,
hide me in the word obscene.
Lose me in the haze of what you say in what you mean,
Help me lose the days I have to wait to be with you.
Want to much to breathe you and exhale your naked air.How unfair it is that fifteen miles turned into fifteen hundred,
Hold you still and to my heart,
Never let you let me go,
Break my legs and bury me in snow.
I’ll freeze and let the reasons I had flow and fall away,
Undetected by the stray and feeble smelling dogs,
Their noses blocked with blood and purple puss,
It reeks and hangs of us in here,
Cannot see my hands for fear I’m only dreaming,
They’re not really there -
it’s just a seething mass of rats and worms,
and devils who have changed their tune and turned out for the worse.
Sink me and immerse my soul in sin,
Let the fire burn within,
and burn away my stomach heart and lungs.
Now I’ve lost my friends cause all I think about is you.
Lost my shoes and feet beneath,
stalactites of lost belief,
That grow on frozen silver walls.Does it matter how many words I write?
Doesn’t matter how many words I write - can’t get it right.
I’ll get it right when I can kiss you;
hold you in my arms and count my lucky stars the moon came out tonight.
Silver in the broken light,
and hung before our eyes.
Funny words and lullabies,
ride upon the wind and cry,
of followed dreams and harmonies,
that lurk within these silver trees of ours.
Want to pick you like a flower,
on the forest, in the mountain,
In the mist of lost intent,
- a silver rose has blossomed in my heart.
The thorns are deep, and tangled up in blood and bile,
and all the other vile liquids, trapped within my gut,
The roots are wrapped around my bones,
and covered with the stones they threw at me,
Funny how the revolution took and caught the air around,
Lost my grip and tumbled from my feet,
Just hope you’re there to mend this swallow,
when he hits the ground that grew him,
Will it nourish him again with lies,
manipulated points of view and
tactful states of mind?
He don’t have time for them this time,
He knew he should have stayed away,
It’s too late now,
He’s back! And coming trumps up at the game he always lost,
This game of life has cost him,
And the dreams he followed lost him on the way,
Will you lose me just the way they did?
Do you have a sense of life that laughs and breathes within?
Lost my sighs to winds that make my eyes water.
Water me and I will grow, out of dead and silver snow,
and up towards the light that is your face,
Want to lick and taste your neck,
Trace my mouth across your breasts,
Want to take you West of Wednesday,
Hide you in the shade of five moons and five suns,
Bought myself a gun in case,
you turn and run away,
and I am left with no alternative.Girl, you are my turning and my pretext,
Will you fight the next war by my side?
Will you drag me deep inside your head?
Leave me bloated, cold and dead,
Joyous in the light of what you said that summer day.